Joseph Howe (1804-1873)
Once More I Put my Bonnet On
1Once more I put my bonnet on,
2 And tie the ribbons blue,
3My showy poplin dress I don,
4 That's just as good as new,
5And smooth and stately as a swan
6 Go sailing to my pew.
7Once more, Ah! me, how oft, how oft,
8 Shall I the scene repeat?
9With graceful ease and manner soft
10 I sink into my seat,
11And round the congregation waft
12 The sense of odors sweet.
13A finer form, a fairer face
14 Ne'er bent before the stole,
15With more restraint, no spotless lace
16 Did firmer orbs control,
17I shine, the Beauty of the place,
18 And yet I look all soul.
19When to the sinful people round
20 My pitying glances rove
21The dewy tints of Heaven's profound
22 Seem in my eyes to move,
23Too sorrowful their hearts to wound,
24 And hardly asking love.
25And thus for four long years I've sat,
26 My gloves without a crease,
27For two of them I wore a hat,
28 For one a blue pelisse,
29When will the wicked know what's what,
30 The weary heart have peace?
31My head gear twenty times I've changed,
32 Worn Paris flowers in Spring,
33Wheat ears in Autumn, re-arranged,
34 Tried birds of every wing,
35Bade that from Paradise estranged
36 Its lustre o'er me fling.
37But yet, as "nether millstones" hard
38 The hearts of men appear,
39Smooth shaved, "or bearded like the pard"
40 They're worse from year to year.
41My "virtue is its own reward,"
42 I'm sitting single here.
43The Rector's eyes, a brilliant pair,
44 Lit up with love divine,
45Beaming with inspiration rare,
46 And phrenzy very fine,
47Like nestling birds from upper air,
48 Would gently droop to mine.
49What could I think, as day by day
50 His gaze more earnest grew,
51Till half the girls began to say
52 He neither cared nor knew,
53Though all the Church should go astray
54 If he could save my pew.
55I read divinity by reams,
56 The Bible got by heart,
57I studied all the Church's "Schemes,"
58 Prepared to play my part
59Of Rector's wife, as well beseems
60 A lady of high Art.
61But, let the truth at once be told,
62 Religion's cause was nought,
63For Twenty Thousand Pounds in gold
64 The Rector's heart was bought,
65And I was most completely sold,
66 The Blackbird was not caught.
67The Curate's hair was crisp and brown,
68 His color very high;
69His ample chest came sloping down,
70 Antinous-like his thigh,
71Sin shrank before his gathered frown,
72 Peace whispered in his sigh.
73So young! I hoped his steps to guide
74 From error's devious way;
75By bad example sorely tried,
76 I feared the youth might stray;
77To life's allurements opening wide
78 Become an easy prey.
79I did my best, I watched and prayed,
80 His ardent soul to save,
81But by the sinful flesh betrayed,
82 What could I do but rave?
83Ten stone of blonde, in lace arrayed
84 Walked with him down the nave.
85If Gospel truth must now be told
86 I've selfish grown of late,
87The Banker next though somewhat old,
88 And limping in his gait,
89And quite as yellow as his gold,
90 I thought to animate.
91I'm sure my Note he would have "done"
92 With "two good names" upon it;
93I do not think he ever run
94 His eye glass o'er my sonnet,
95Or counted, in the morning sun
96 The feathers in my bonnet.
97The widowed Judge I next essayed,
98 His orphans kindly viewing,
99Read Blackstone nearly through 'tis said,
100 All gaudy dress eschewing;
101But, am I doomed to die a maid?
102 Not yet he comes a wooing.
103Once more I'll put my bonnet on
104 And tie the ribbons blue;
105My showy poplin dress I'll don,
106 That's just as good as new,
107And smooth and stately as a swan
108 Go sailing to my pew.
109Merchants and Lawyers, half a score,
110 Bow on their hats to pray,
111Tho' scattered round, I'm very sure
112 They always look my way.
113I'll re-appear, encore! encore!
114 Who shall I catch to-day?
3] poplin: plainly woven, sturdy cloth with crosswise ribs, not quite as attractive as it might appear from the context
28] pelisse: long fur-trimmed cloak
57] Church's "Schemes": ecclesiastical plans of action
70] Antinous-like: handsome youth, a friend of the Emperor Hadrian who drowned in the Nile
99] Blackstone: Sir William Blackstone (1723-80), first Vinerian professor of law at Oxford University, judge, and a well-known legal authority who authored Commentaries on the Laws of England.
Online text copyright © 2003, Ian Lancashire for the Department
of English, University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services,
University of Toronto Libraries.
Original text: The Hon. Joseph Howe, Poems and Essays (Montreal: John Lovell, 1874): 177-81.
First publication date:
RPO poem editor: Ian Lancashire
RP edition: RPO 1997.
Recent editing: 2:2002/3/7
Other poems by Joseph Howe